now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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