We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
