I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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