You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
