erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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