Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
