Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
