Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've blown a few things in my day
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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