when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
