Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
