i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The air was thick with penises
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
