Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
