the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
