just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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