Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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