morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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