I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
