Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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