There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
