I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Drunk is a universal language darling
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
