everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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