So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
