i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize