It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize