So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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