You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
