Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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