it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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