the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
