Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
