you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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