why didn't you poke me back
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
