I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
