The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
