i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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