You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
