next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
