i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
