I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize