Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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