I'm gonna have a badass scar
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you will always have a special place in my vag
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
