All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
