Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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