I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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