i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
