I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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