Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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