Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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