Sry I called you an 8
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
