I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
