some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
