Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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