I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
