also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
