I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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