i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
