Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So. Much. Porn.
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