We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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