you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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