i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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