She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
it was like eating out sand paper
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize