Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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