No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
