is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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